13 of Mrs. Murphy’s Laws by Lisa Cofield, Debbie Dingerson and Lea Rush
- Woman does not live by bread alone… she needs chocolate fondue to dip it in.
- If you drop a bag of groceries, it will be the one containing the eggs.
- Junior will get hit in teh mouth with a baseball the day after the braces are removed.
- Putting an item in a safe place guarantees you won’t be able to find it when you need it. (When you do find the item, it’s usually three days after you needed it adn are now looking for something else.)
- An optimist says a partial glass of grape juice is half full – a pessimist says it’s half empty. Mrs. Murphy says either way, it will still be spilled on the new white carpet.
- The “emergency” phone call from your six-year old will interrupt your staff meeting just as you’ve finished announcing a new policy limiting personal calls.
- The day of school pictures, your kids will wear the weirdest outfits they can find.
- Three out of four summer weddings will be held outdoors on teh hottest day of teh year. The fourth will be held indoors, but the air conditioning will be broken.
- Taking the car any farther than the driveway causes children to say “I gotta go.”
- Bad news travels fast, but you’re always the last to know.
- The ugly vase you sold at a garage sale for $3 will turn out to be a collector’s item worth $200.
- The day you forget your purse at home is the day a police officer will pull you over for a burned out taillight.
- Women read Playgirl for the articles.