Bathroom rules and Romance

5 Jan

romancetoiletGenevieve pulled Lancelot into the corner and smashed her body into his. Her arms grasped the lapels of his shirt as she battled her tongue with his. “Wait. Someone might see us,” Lancelot said.

The couple pushed open the nearest door, found themselves in the women’s restroom and were greeted with the smell of the last entrant’s poop. It was as effective as a bucket of cold water being dumped on the couple and the mood was broken. The two separated and went back to work totally grossed out.

Can you imagine the horror of bathroom sex with parfum de pupu in the air? Anyways, I have a couple of workplace bathroom pet peeves and wondered about y’all. I can’t stand it when there are three stalls and people go in the middle stall, forcing me to pee next to them.

My other pet peeve is people taking a dump in the toilet and leaving floaties. Ewww gross!! I know this is different from my normal posts, but I’m just saying, “Check the toilet before leaving the bathroom.”

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10 Responses to “Bathroom rules and Romance”

  1. SciFiGuy January 5, 2009 at 10:21 pm #

    Sorry but I can’t resist saying that this was a really sh*ty post 🙂

  2. Holly January 5, 2009 at 10:30 pm #

    Ok that was probably the most hilarious post..hahaha

  3. JenB January 5, 2009 at 10:34 pm #

    I must be the only girl on the planet that doesn’t have any weird bathroom hangups. Does that make *me* weird?

  4. Amie Stuart January 5, 2009 at 11:04 pm #

    LOL@sciFi guy!

    I just…I’m speechless…I’ve got nothing

    *biting lip*

  5. scooper January 6, 2009 at 12:26 am #

    SciFiGuy: *groans* LOL
    Holly: Thanks, I had to get out. (Pun intended.)
    JenB: Weirdo! Just kidding. None, not even the toilet paper being put on the roll wrong or the toilet seat left up?
    Amie:Does that mean my scene won’t make it into your next book?

  6. Holly January 6, 2009 at 12:55 am #

    Yes Jen, you are the only one and you are weird.

    Had to get it out?

    bwahahaha

  7. Stephanie January 6, 2009 at 9:21 am #

    What if you are a creature of habit and always use the middle stall for whatever business you are attending to? I don’t like the closed-in feeling of the other two. Sorry, scooper.
    I share your bathroom hangups and raise you one … I have to have the toilet paper hanging a certain way in the bathroom or it bugs me to no end. I don’t know why. And … I hate hair on the soap. That’s two I guess.

  8. FantasyGirl January 6, 2009 at 12:31 pm #

    I have a hard time using public restrooms that don’t have those paper seat protectors. If the restroom doesn’t have it I lay toilet paper on the seat in an “O” shape. Half the time the toilet paper blows off the seat so I have to start over again. And again. And again.

    Another pet peeve is waiting in line for a stall at a busy place like an airport only to discover that the lock on the door is broken! I’m no gymnast, so holding the door shut with my foot in the air isn’t an option.

    And what about those “automatic” toilets that use a sensor to determine when to flush? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve danced around in a stall trying to make that sensor work!

  9. Brie January 6, 2009 at 4:41 pm #

    Ha ha!

    I hate it when food is brought into a public restroom. I don’t care if it’s wrapped up tight in a bag, I still can’t help but think that someone has just contaminated their meal. Same goes for drinks.

    I always tear off about five sheets of toilet paper and toss them before getting the paper I’m gonna use for myself.

    I hate touching any part of the sink and am so glad most sinks have gone to automatic output. And I won’t use the restroom unless I get the larger handicapped one. I’ll let people go before me just to wait for that stall.

    There is a lot more I dislike about public restrooms which is why I rarely ever use them.

  10. scooper January 6, 2009 at 5:52 pm #

    Stephanie: I thought those were your feet. I thought this hint would move you, but you are an evil woman. *grin*

    FantasyGirl: So have you ever been chasing the toilet paper and just said F— it, and squat. I’m just saying sometimes it’s hard to hold it.

    Brie: So you don’t eat while you sit on the toilet? LOL I’m not a public toilet girl either. I don’t want to touch the same handles that people have touched after wiping and not washing.

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