Dear Mr. UPS Guy,
I’ve been very patient. I know I haven’t called you, but will you please deliver my copy of Magic Bleeds by Ilona Andrews today. I can’t focus. I keep visiting your site, but it says the next time shipping information will be posted is when it is delivered. I really need my book. So please, for today, will you pretend I’m your only customer?
Thank you,
A Slavering Book Addict
Scooper Speaks 
LOL. Love it. Fingers crossed he takes care of you soon!
You are so funny.
UPS doesn’t come on Saturdays and Sundays.
It will probably be here later today.
Hang in there.